From the Mooch to Sloppy Steve: Trump’s Worst Hiring Decisions

Donald Trump frequently brags about his record-setting first year in office. But unless you're counting days playing golf or number of lies, there aren't very many records to brag about. 

But there is one way in which Trump is setting records—in staff turnover. Thirty-four percent of White House staff has been either fired, resigned, or been re-hired elsewhere. That's the highest first-year turnover rate in forty years, twice as high as the runner-up. 

Among that motley crew has been some absolutely unforgettable figures. Here are some of Trump's worst hiring decisions during his memorable first 365 days.

Anthony Scaramucci

Ah, who could forget the Mooch? The financier, indie film producer, and all-around loudmouth lasted only ten days in his gig as communications director before being shitcanned, but what a memorable week and a half it was. Remember when he quoted a cheesy pop song and said it was the work of Mark Twain? Or when he told a reporter that Steve Bannon was trying to do something that's anatomically impossible? There's one small consolation for a man who missed the birth of his own child in order to spend time with Donald Trump: he got to see himself played by Bill Hader on Saturday Night Live.

Steve Bannon

The lesson to be learned from Steve Bannon's short run at the top of the mountain is, if you're going to get a racist gasbag to help you make policy, at least make sure it's a loyal racist gasbag. Bannon managed to avoid the first few rounds of his boss' purges, but once the “adult in the room” John Kelly came on board as chief of staff, Mister Two Shirt's days were numbered. It took one interview where Bannon had a different position on North Korea than whatever garbage Trump was spouting that day, and he was out.

The coda came months later, when Sloppy Steve lost his other job after mouthing off about Trump's son to another reporter. He lost his sugar mama, lost Breitbart, and will soon be reduced to holding up signs that read “Will talk about how Bill Murray played me on SNL for money.”

Taylor Weyeneth 

The Office of National Drug Control Policy is a pretty fucking big deal. It makes sure that all of the government's various anti-drug initiatives are working together and it also is in charge of making sure that Trump's periodic moments of caring about the opioid epidemic translate into actual policy.

So it shocked even people who thought they were no longer capable of being shocked by White House incompetence when the Washington Post broke the story earlier this month that the ONDCP's deputy chief of staff was Taylor Weyeneth, a 24-year-old guy with no relevant experience, no interest in politics, and whose stepfather has a felony conspiracy conviction for processing illegal steroids. His only qualification? You guessed it—working on Trump's campaign. When all of this was exposed, Weyeneth was unsurprisingly demoted.

Tom Price

You would think that being in the President's cabinet is a pretty good deal. You get to attend fancy meetings, have an unbeatable line on your resumé, and maintain a cozy and lucrative afterlife lobbying for a coterie of evil influence-peddlers. 

Somehow, that wasn't enough for Trump's Health and Human Services secretary Tom Price—he needed to fly private, too. Politico uncovered the fact that Price had spent over $400K of taxpayer money on private jets. In the shadiest of shady ways to say “I'm sorry,” Price reimbursed the government less than $52K—an amount that he said would cover equivalent commercial tickets, but not anywhere close to the amount of dough that was actually spent. Price had no choice after the Politico story but to fall on his sword

Omarosa Manigault

While it's true that Trump's cabinet and judicial nominees—and, hell, even his interns—are overwhelmingly white, his (aptly named) White House has been a home to incompetent folks of all races. Case in point: Omarosa.

After appearing on four different Trump reality shows (The ApprenticeCelebrity ApprenticeThe Ultimate Merger, and All-Star Celebrity Apprentice), it was only natural that reality TV's number one villain would move into the White House with reality's number one villain

There was only one problem: she didn't really have a job. Other than crowing about her boss having an enemies list and having a White House wedding photo shoot, Maginault, whose official title was Assistant to the President and Director of Communications for the Office of Public Liaison, didn't really seem to do anything. So in December she, like Bannon, got on John Kelly's bad side and “resigned.” As a final humiliation, she reportedly tried to sneak back into the White House, setting off alarms in the process.

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Cardi B’s Dentist Also Making Money Moves After Shout-Out on “Bodak Yellow”

Cardi B is absolutely killing it right now. She has officially dethroned Taylor Swift from the No. 1 spot on the Billboard Hot 100 with her breakout hit “Bodak Yellow,” making it the first solo woman-fronted rap single to top the chart since Lauryn Hill’s “Doo Wop (That Thing)” back in 1998. But Cardi’s song has done a lot more than just make America’s summer better. 

Cardi’s dentist, Dr. Catrise Austin, has reported a significant boom in business due to just one shout-out in the song, proving Cardi B is really out here helping everyone she can make money moves, just like herself. For reference: in one of the verses of “Bodak Yellow,” Cardi raps, “Got a bag and fixed my teeth/Hope you hoes know it ain’t cheap.”

Cardi’s dentist has also done work on DJ Khaled, Common, Toni Braxton, Omarosa Manigault, and Busta Rhymes—but it was only after Cardi B rapped about her work that Dr. Austin noticed a bump in her business. And it’s a pretty significant one: Dr. Austin told TMZ her business has tripled so far, with people Googling and calling her to find out more. She also claims that Cardi’s dental work cost as much as a luxury SUV.

“Just this week, I've got so many calls because people want to know 'who is Cardi B's dentist,'” Dr. Austin said in a video posted to TMZ. She also said Cardi's major dental work last year, followed by the rapper's skyrocketing success, has inspired people of all kinds to come in and change their smile, and consequently “change their lives.” 

 

got a bag & fixed our teeth 😁😂 @iamcardib [shot by @kodaklens]  #BIG3 #FightWeekend #Vegas

A post shared by Fabolous (@myfabolouslife) on Sep 1, 2017 at 3:14pm PDT

Rapper Fabolous realized the genius of the line a while ago when he posted a photo with Cardi to his Instagram with the lyrics as a caption, also pointing to some dental work he had done as well. After all, Cardi is definitely not ashamed of her come-up, nor is she trying to hide the fact that she knows where to spend the money coming in from her burgeoning music career. She's open about the work she's done with Dr. Austin in the past, claiming “if you don't feel comfortable about something, go and fix it.”

But it's a testament to Cardi's confidence that she didn't even seem all that bothered pre-dental work. At least not as bothered as her haters, as she tweeted in 2016. 

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