“The Star-Spangled Banner,” for whatever reason, is the national anthem of the Divided States of America. No offense to anyone into American flag t-shirts and Toby Keith and whatnot, but the song is seriously one of the most boring compositions in music history. In fact, I like to sneak in a quick mini-nap whenever someone insists upon covering it in public.
At least one bold individual, a Kentucky man by the name of Sean Gray, has decided to lead the fight for an improved national anthem by starting a completely reasonable petition. “It's the current year, 2017, and I think the nation should get with the times and feature Quavo on the National Anthem,” Gray writes on his Change.org petition. “He's a feature on everything else, so why not?”
Signees have provided a multitude of reasons for supporting the petition, ranging from “nut” to “Alex told me to” to “Fuck Donald Trump.” Valid causes, all. At the time of this writing, the petition was less than 500 signatures away from its goal of 1,500 supporters after gaining traction with features in a variety of publications, including HotNewHipHop.
In a perfect world, which is quite clearly not the world we're living in now, this petition would immediately be sent to a Trumpless White House and/or whoever's in charge of updating the nation's anthem. After no debate whatsoever, a new national anthem would be commissioned featuring Quavo, Travis Scott, Selena Gomez, and SZA over a track of John Mayer doing some of his finest John Mayering with Travis Barker on drums. Production, ideally, would be handled by Metro Boomin and Mike Will Made-It.
Make it happen, America.
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